Stolen Lines #3

There’s something that I’ve been thinking about and wondering about and I’m very curious: am I the only one who knows?*

I hope I am.  I have to be the only one who knows!  I wouldn’t be able to deal with it if he knows.  I’ve kept it to myself for so long.   I thought I had anyway.  Hell, I even tried lying to myself so that nobody else caught on.  But now, maybe I’ve been kidding myself.  Maybe he can read me better than I thought.  I’ve always put up such a good front.  Now I’m not sure.  I’m not sure of anything anymore.

If he knows, what will I do?  How will I face him?  Worse yet, what happens if he decides to do something with what he knows!  He could ruin my life, my love, my everything.  I can’t ask if he knows.  That would surely give it away.  I can’t chance that.  And I can’t chance this ruining my life.

There’s only one choice.  I will be the only one who knows.  No matter what.

*I stole the first line of this post from Then We Came To The End, by Joshua Ferris.

The Stolen Lines experience was thought up by the one-and-only Law With Grace.

 

Lost it.

Last night, as I was laying in bed, realizing that I was not all that tired, I started writing 2 separate blogs in my head.  I told myself to write them down ’cause there was a high likelihood of my forgetting them by morning, but I wasn’t awake enough to want to get out of bed and thought they were witty enough that I would surely remember.  No dice.

And now, I can’t think of anything to write about, or what I even thought was so insightful last night.  Apparently I need to keep a recorder or notepad on my nightstand so that the world will not be at a loss of all my beneficial wisdom.  Or so I at least don’t feel like a dimwit because I can’t remember something I thought was so important to share will all of you for less than 12 hours.

I guess I’ll go back to job hunting and vacation planning.  I think I remember where I want to go!

 

Career change?

I’ve been reading a lot of magazines lately.  What else do I have to do, right?  I fell behind while studying for law school exams, working, oh, and that pesky bar exam.  So, I’m playing catchup.  Some of them are worth the time, others not so much and I find myself wondering why I’m wasting my time flipping through pages that I’m in now way reading.

And then there are times that I read something, in say, ask so-and-so columns and think to myself (or say outloud) “What the hell are these people thinking?!”.  For example, one question I seem to be reading repeatedly in various magazines is this:  Should I leave/divorce my husband?  To which I get irritated and respond:  If you have to ask the question, do him a favor and just go…he will be better off.  I mean seriously, if you’re asking someone who has no idea of both sides of the story whether or not you should end a marriage then you really have no place being in a marriage.

So, after the third time of reading that same question I thought to myself…self, you could write advice columns!  And I could.  Albiet, people would likely not like my answers because I call it like I see it.  I love listening to people, but if they want my advice, they better be ready for some hard truth and questions coming back.  I want to help people who actually want to be helped, which is why I’ve come to more blows with my friends than you can count on their hands and toes!   I’m not fake and I have a low tolerance for people who can’t deal with reality and always want someone to tell them how right they are for the way they are thinking or acting.  I can’t do that…if I think something you’re doing is dumb, I’ll tell you.  If I think that you need to stop what you’ve been doing for 15yrs if you want a different life than you’ve had, I’ll tell you.  And when you’re pissed at me because I was honest, I will not apologize for what I said…I may, and that’s a very strong may, apologize for hurting your feelings.  But if it’s what I think you need to hear in order to snap the eff outta whatever fantasy world you’ve built for yourself, that’s not likely.

So, yeah, I think it’d be fun to have an advice column.  I wonder if I could pair up with Dr. Phil, he tends to tell people things they don’t like to hear without batting an eye!

 

I’ve learned…

That all the free time in the world does not mean that the tasks you hate doing will get done any more often.  Because I have all the time in the world and I have yet to take on a thorough cleaning of the bathroom.  I need to reorganize the cupboards, but oddly enough have not had the chance.  Instead I find anything else I can do to not spend hours in the bathroom.  The odd thing is that I really do like to organize things…my closet has been done, the kitchen has been done.  I also have failed to tackle the pantry & laundry room, and filing.

So I’ve decided I need some kind of motivation to get these things done.  But I have not been able to come up with one thing.  The pantry will just become a disaster the next time I cook.  The bathroom cabinets will be in disarray the next time Mr. Incredible looks for something.  And I’m just not able to motivate myself to do something knowing that the end result will be me reorganizing them all over again in less than a week.  It’s not like anything will really take that long to do, I just don’t want to make them a priority.

With that, I’m giving myself deadlines…and I’m putting them here so that I feel like I’m accountable to someone.

1. Bathroom cabinets organized by tomorrow morning at 9am
2. Junk drawers (we have way too many) cleaned by 4pm tomorrow
3. Pantry organized by Friday morning at 10am
4. Laundry room organized by Friday afternoon at noon
5. Filing completed by the end 4pm Friday
6. Upstairs cleaned by the end of the weekend